I'm Sarah, and I'm seventeen. I'd like to think I've learned a lot in these seventeen years, things like, learning to walk, learning to read, learning to swim, learning to play guitar, learning to do a cartwheel, or learning every single line to every single Taylor Swift song. And some much harder things like, learning to forgive, learning to let go, learning sometimes you just have to live with the consequences, learning to always have faith things will change, and learning to admit you're wrong and to try again over and over before getting it right. It's these things that can make me feel guarded and cautious, but they also make me happier and stronger. Because things change and people change as we grow and you can’t stop that or deny it or pretend otherwise. As a person, I do my best to embrace the changes but also remain the same.
I am a Pisces which is supposed to make me 'the dreamer'. I think that fits. I don’t believe for one moment that the only world I have to live in is reality. As far as I can tell, imagination is a real thing. I can let mine be as alive as I want it to be. I spend most of my time in a daydream, where everything out of reach is suddenly right in front of me. I write these dreams down. I keep a journal and I write in it every night. I fill it with everything and anything. I don’t know why it’s so compelling to me to do that, but it’s important. In there I have the chance to say anything. To write down a song, or an idea or just a thought, that I might never get back to. It may sit there for days, months, or years until I retouch on it. But it's there. Memories fade and ideas become forgotten, so whenever I think of something, I write it down. . I believe that dreams can come up and surprise you in times when you least expect it. Not everything is hard, but not everything is easy. When you get an opportunity, don't leave it standing for fear. You can’t do that to yourself. If it’s something you believe in and something that you love, don’t let it go. Prioritise your happiness because you deserve that.
I love surprises. I also love the anticipation and excitement that you get leading up to something you're looking forward to. I love the feeling of not being about to think of or talk about anything else, the countdown and the constant obnoxiousness of it all. I don't like spiders. And I don't like doing nothing. I’m not quiet, I’m guarded. I have an overly loud mind. My thoughts travel at a million miles a minutes and it’s exhausting. I find it difficult to sort them out and focus on just one sometimes. I lose my vision that way. I have a tragic tendency to not notice things that are right in front of me. I believe in everything except myself. My own mind feeds my doubts more than anything. But it also gives me dreams and hopes that I’ll never let anyone take away from me. I love people I can relate to, and people who like my wry, sarcastic sense of humour. I love summer dresses. I always sit on my feet/ legs too long and get pins and needles. I don't like that. I don't like making decisions when I don't have to. I am definitely the most indecisive person I know. I over analyse and over organise everything. I think too much. I have the tendency to be terribly absent-minded. I can’t stand the limitations of where I live. My hopes and dreams are so much bigger than just Adelaide. I don’t know anything about everything. I love summer because I love the beach. I love feeling warm. That's probably because if I’m not warm, I’m cold. There’s no in between. Which is kind of the same with the rest of my life. I've found I'm an extremely emotional person and I absolutely don't have a thick skin. I feel everything. Which can mean anything from getting deeply sad over things that others wouldn't think twice about, to getting overexcited about seeing a nice table in an antique store that I like. I feel things in extremes. I love how pretty winter looks in countries where it snows. It appears all so magical. I love flowers, especially roses. I wear too many bracelets all the time and I get obsessed with Christmas. I love oversized sun glasses, red lipstick and cowboy boots. I ask too many questions and I always have to have the last word. In all of my makeup purses you’ll find a Sharpie. Always. I love going into antique stores and looking at all the old things. I love the number 11. It's lucky. 17's also have the peculiar habit of following me around whenever something good is happening. I love rocking chairs. I love writing letters to people in my spare time. I love Taylor Swift. I love it when things intrigue me. I love secret places. I love excitable people. Many things get me excited, and you'll know when they do, I tend to show it. And I am apparently not capable of talking without moving my hands for emphasis on what I'm saying.
I like nice people. People who don’t throw your flaws in your face at any and every opportunity they get, just because they can. I value honesty. I like people who aren’t afraid to apologise when they hurt somebody, even if that hurt was unintentional. I like people who overuse ‘I love you’. I still wear my favourite dress all year round. And I still get scared at night when I hear a strange noise. I think it's the unknown that frightens me. I’m scared of bad things. I don't like scary movies. I've finally been able to admit it to myself that I don't like them, and I shouldn't watch them. Especially not when I could watch something with a happy ending. I believe that if you’re lucky enough to find love then you have to go for it. It doesn’t matter where you find it, only that it’s there. Love is universal and infinite. Love is fearless. It just is. I love love stories. I’m sort of obsessed with them. The kind that give me hope of one day finding my own Prince Charming.
I don’t think you can trust people to be who you want them to be. You have to know them for who they are. You can’t expect anyone to be anything at all, because that’s not fair. You have to let them show you what they’ve got and who they are. Nobody's perfect and even I get on my own nerves sometimes. I think you should dream, imagine and believe. Daring to do these things means you always have a world of your own to fall back on when you need it. There’s always an escape. There’s always a reason to be happy. I believe just because you can't sing well, doesn't mean you shouldn't. I'm heavily into and dependent on my music. I'm always listening to my favourite songs. I also write my own and I play piano and guitar. I treat it as writing a letter. A letter where you can be completely honest and say the things you couldn't in the moment. There are so many moments where I haven't said what I wanted to while I had the chance. I'm not very good at that. But people don't know what you're thinking, unless you tell them. They only get what you give. This isn't an episode of Smallville where people can read minds. Where you're as fast as the speed of light. Or where people are as strong as steel. So I'm really working on being Fearless enough to have the courage to Speak Now.
Well, it seems it didn't take long for this to become novel length, or at least ridiculously long. I did say, anything and everything, I write it all down. This is what I have to say about the 17 years I have been alive. And anyone who spent their time reading this, I do appreciate it. More than I even know how to tell you. Thank you. And if you made it this far, could I ask you do something for me? Please smile for me. Because I love you for it.